Far Away
by Mouse95
Summary: What would the BAU be like without Hotch?  Give it a chance it's not what you think it is.
1. Chapter 1

**Ch.1**

**I'm sure you already know this but I don't own the show Criminal Minds or any of the characters. **

The operation had gone down smoothly the unsub was in the custody of the local police and there was nothing left to do but the paperwork. Hotch had stepped across the street to speak to one of the witness. It was Prentiss who first noticed something was wrong.

"Somethings wrong with Hotch." And with those words everything changed.

The rest of the team looked up to see Hotch stumbling across the road clutching his stomach.

Morgan and Gideon took off running at the same time. Morgan got to Hotch just as his knees gave out. Morgan gently lowered Hotch to the ground just as Gideon ran up closely followed by Reid and Prentiss.

"Officer down," Morgan called, to the uniformed officers.

Everyone could see the rapidly spreading red stain from under Hotchs hand.

"Hotch let me see," Gideon said, trying to gently pull Hotch's hand away from the wound.

"It's not so bad," Gideon said, trying to sound reassuring.

"You're a terrible liar. Jason take care of Hayley."

"You're going to be fine," Gideon said.

"Shut up and listen. Derrick I want you to teach Jack to play ball and in enjoy life. Reid show Jack the magic of learning. J.J. teach Jack how to make the right descion even w hen it's tough. Prentiss show Jack how to reach for the stars. Tell Garcia," Hotch paused for a minute. I'm sure there something useful she can teach Jack" Hotch said.

"Where the hell is the ambulance?" Morgan yelled.

"There all tied up with a major accident on the interstate their trying to get on free now," an offerice said.

"Jason tell Hayley I'm sorry and I love her and Jack," Hotch said, closing his eyes.

**Please read and review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ch. 2**

**Thank you to Soccer2010 and Mellowgirl for reviewing. I know almost nothing about Hayley Hotchner everything I wrote is based on what I imagine she would be like. Please read and tell me what you think I really would like some more feed back.**

It was the longest plane ride any of the BAU team members had every taken. No one had spoken much since the doctors had pronounced Hotch dead. Everyone was acutely aware of Hotch's casket riding in the cargo area of the plane. No one had talked to Hayley Gideon wanted to do that himself when they got back to Virginia. Gideon looked around the plan at the devastated team. J.J. was curled up on the couch next to Reid not quite touching but close enough that she was asking for comfort without demanding it a soft sob escaping every now and then. Reid sat beside J.J. totally oblivious to J.J.'s silent plea for attention. Gideon knew he was playing the whole scene over and over in his head trying to figure out what he could have missed that may have saved Hotch's life. Morgan was staring out the window but Gideon knew he wasn't seeing the scenery his mind too was playing the events of that morning over desperately trying to figure out what happened and how the shooter had gotten a way. Prentiss was sitting in the seat across from Morgan pretending to read. Because of her short time on the team Hotchs death would be the easiest on her. Not that her pain would be any less real than anybody else's. Gideon knew that the truth of the situation hadn't fully hit any of them yet he just hoped when it did the team was strong enough to survive.

Gideon still wasn't completely sure how he was going to give Hayley the news. It was never easy having to tell someone that a loved one was gone. But this was Hayley and Gideon was at a complete loss for what to do. There were no words to make this better to make the pain stop. And Jack Gideon didn't even want to think about him at two years old Hotch would only be the man who had died when he was a baby to Jack. Gideon swore that it would be his responsibility to make sure when Jack was old enough that he understood that everything his dad did was so that Jack could live in a better world.

After two agonizing hours the plan finally landed. As Gideon gathered his things to get off the plane he could feel the others eyes on him waiting for him to say something. He didn't know what to say to them the truth was there really was nothing to say. He had to concentrate on Hayley right now. Gideon knew he had to say something or the plane was liable to explode just from the tension and expectation.

"If anyone needs to talk everyone has my numbers also there are counselors available if anyone feels the need to talk privately," Gideon said, and left the plane.

Gideon could hear footsteps coming up quickly behind him. "I want …I need to go with you to see Hayley," Morgan said, coming up beside Gideon.

"Are sure? It's not going to be easy," Gideon said.

" Yes I'm sure. And I know it's not going to be easy. I have to do something or I'm going to go crazy or maybe I'll just go to the nearest bar and get drunk off my ass," Morgan said.

"Well we don't want either one of those things. You think Reid will be alright?" Gideon asked.

To Gideon surprise a small smile crossed Morgan's face.

"J.J. finally gave up on the whole subtlety thing and ask Reid if he'd come to her place for awhile said she didn't want to be alone right now. J.J. invited Prentiss too so I figure if the kid doesn't shit himself or die of a heart attack he'll be fine. They all will at least for tonight," Morgan said.

"Alright then I guess your with me," Gideon said.

The car ride over was a silent one. Both men lost in their own thoughts. It was nearly two o'clock when Gideon pulled the car into the driveway of Hotch's house. Gideon and Morgan both sat in the car looking at the house until the front door opened and Hayley Hotchner stepped out. The concern on her face was obvious even from a distance. Gideon was the first one to get out of the car.

"Good evening," Gideon said, forcing a smile. Gideon heard the passenger door open and Morgan step out of the car.

"Gideon where's Aaron?" Hayley asked.

"Why don't we go in the house?" Morgan suggested.

Hayley opened the door and waited as the two men walked up the driveway.

"Where's Jack?" Morgan asked, looking around.

"He's at a friends house I wanted to get some heavy cleaning done and that's near impossible with Jack running around getting in to everything. Now stop trying to make small talk and tell me where my husband is," Hayley demanded staring at both men.

"Hayley," Gideon started, but was interrupted.

"Just tell me Jason is Aaron injured or is he dead?" Hayley asked, her gaze unwavering.

Both men looked at each other.

That was the only answer Hayley needed.

"How'd he die?" Hayley asked. "He is dead isn't he because if he wasn't one of you would be reassuring me that he was okay," Hayley said.

"I know this doesn't even begin to cover it but Hayley I am so sorry," Morgan said.

"Your right it doesn't," Hayley answered.

"Is there anything we can do?" Gideon asked.

"Yeah go back in time and save my husband," Hayley answered.

"You know if I could I would," Gideon answered.

Hayley stared at both men for a minute before answering.

"I know you would and I'm not angry at you not really. I know all of you loved Aaron and he loved you. Hell he spent more time with the team than he did with us. But I didn't resent him for that I knew what I was getting into when we got married," Hayley said.

"Hayley you and Jack where the most important things in the world to Hotch," Morgan said.

"I know if I didn't believe that I never would have survived all these years. I just wish I had told him before he left. I guess that's what I get for believing we had all the time in the world," Hayley said, with a sad smile.

**Trust me just hang in there I really think you'll enjoy it.**

**Thanks,**

**Mouse**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch. 3**

**Please R&R. I know your out there so please review I live for feed back.**

"What do you wish you had told Hotch?" Gideon asked.

"I ..I'm pregnant," Hayley said, putting her had on her stomach. "I took a home pregnancy test before Aaron left so I knew. I just decided to wait and go to the doctor so I could surprise him with the ultrasound. Now I guess I've got two babies to raise by myself," Hayley said.

Gideon gently covered her hand with his. "No not by yourself we're here for you and the kids we always will be," Gideon said.

Everyone looked up at the sound of a car pulling into the driveway Morgan went over to the window and looked out.

"It's Garcia, " Morgan said. Morgan opened the door and went to meet Garcia. A few minutes later Morgan came back in the house carrying an armful of Chinese food containers.

Garcia came in carrying a foaled child's chair under one arm and a large stuffed horse under the arm.

"Oh Penelope what did you do?" Hayley asked.

"There's this kids shop right next to where I get my nails done and there was this chair just sitting in the window and it already had Jacks name monogrammed on it and it hit me I didn't get Jack anything for his birthday And when I went in to the shop I saw this guy just sitting there and I thought what little boy doesn't like horses. Jack does like horses doesn't he?" Garcia asked.

"He loves them as a matter of fact Jack loves animals. Aarons even talking," Hayley stopped in midsentence and then started again. Aaron was talking about us having Jacks third birthday at the pony park outside of town," Hayley finished.

"I know this isn't going to change anything or even make it better but I'm so sorry," Garcia said, sitting down the chair and the horse she hugged Hayley.

"I brought food," Garcia said, pulling away slightly.

"I noticed," Hayley said, with a smile chuckle.

"Do you like Chinese? I mean I know It's one of Hotch's favorites," Garcia looked down suddenly conscious of what she said.

"Yes I love Chinese and you don't have to be afraid to say his name around me. I want break I promise. Let's go get some food before it gets to cold," Hayley said.

Everyone was sitting down eating when Hayley suddenly stopped and looked at Gideon.

"Jason I still have to call Aaron's mom and brother Sean and I just realized I stilled don't know how Aaron died," Hayley said.

"He was shot in the stomach," Gideon answered.

"He didn't have on his vest?" Hayley asked.

"He did during the bust but it was so hot he must have taken it off after the bust," Gideon said, feeling uncomfortable, because he really couldn't remember seeing Hotch take his vest off which was really bothering him.

"If it was after the bust then how did this happen? You know who did this don't you? I mean you have them in custody. Right?" Hayley asked, her voice raised slightly.

Gideon and Morgan looked at each other not sure what to say.

"Oh my God! You don't do you?" Hayley said, looking shocked.

"Hayley Hotch went across the street to interview a witness after the bust and I'm sorry we don't know much after that," Gideon said.

"I can't believe this you don't have a clue who killed my husband and your sitting here eating like nothing has happened," Hayley said, jumping up from the table.

"Hayley…" Morgan started, but was cut off.

"Don't even try it Derek. If it were you, Jason or Penelope or any other member of the team that was killled I wouldn't see Aaron until who ever did it was rotting in jail. When you stayed I just figured you had caught who ever did this," Hayley said, tears starting to spill down her cheeks.

"Hayley why don't you sit down and we'll talk about this ," Gideon said.

"Don't you dare try to profile me Jason. Get out all of you. Right now!" Hayley screamed.

"Alright we're leaving," Gideon said.

"Gideon I'm not sure," Garcia started, but Morgan cut her off with a shake of the head.

"She shouldn't be by herself," Garcia whispered, when they we're in the other room.

The door from the kitchen slammed open and Hayley stood in the doorway glaring at them.

Gideon and Morgan rushed Garcia out of the house.

"I really don't think she should be by herself," Garcia said, again.

"She want be for long I'm going back to the office and get Hotchs' emergency numbers and make some calls," Gideon said.

**I hope you enjoyed it. Pleeeeese don't forget to review. Until next time.**

**Mouse**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ch. 4**

**Thank you to everyone who took time to review. Okay I have to warn you this chapter is the saddest so far. I had to stop several times while I was writing it and the one person who has already read it cried. Just please hang in there I really think you'll be glad you did.**

Since Garcia was upset Morgan decided to stay with her.

So Gideon drove back to the BAU office lost in his own thoughts. Hotch had been like a little brother to Gideon. If he could have done anything to change what happened he would have. The empty office hit Gideon like a physical blow. Gideon stopped and looked around the empty bull pen. In his minds eye he could see his team busy working at their desk. Looking up he could see Hotch busy at his desk, Gideon felt tears stinging his eyes and a hard lump forming in his throat and stomach. He had to pull him self together. Hayley was what was important at the moment. Gideon sighed and headed for his office to make some phone calls. Gideon decided to call Hotchs brother Sean first he really didn't think he had the strength to deal with another hysterical woman. After calling Sean Gideon wandered over to Hotchs office. He should really get some boxes from house keeping and start packing up Hotchs office. But Gideon knew he wasn't ready for that step yet. Gideon put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the bag that contained some of Hotch's personal belongings. Gideon had forgotten to give it to Hayley it had Hotchs wedding band, watch and key ring. Gideon used Hotchs keys to unlock the desk draw. To his surprise the first thing he saw was a picture of the team that was taken a Reid's twenty-fifth birthday party. It had been Morgan's idea for everyone to pretend they had forgotten Reid's birthday. It just so happened that they were in Kansas they had just found a child who had been kidnapped by a delusional neighbor. When Reid's birthday rolled around. Morgan had convinced the restaurant staff to go along with his scheme.

**Flashback **

" Alright everything's all set up with the restaurant staff," Morgan said, shutting the curtain that hung from the doorway of the private room.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Hotch said, shaking his head.

"Relax we all need this it's a good way to unwind," Gideon said, clamping Hotch on the back.

"Are you girls about through?" Morgan asked, J.J. and Emily who had hung a Happy Birthday banner and where now stringing crape paper around the room.

"All done," J.J. said, jumping down from a chair.

" Alright I'm going to call him," Morgan said.

"Hey kid I hope you didn't want to go home any time soon," Morgan said, when Reid answered his cell phone.

"What are you talking about?" Reid asked.

"I went to the China Palace to get some lunch and one of the employees started screaming. I showed my badge and got through there's at least five mutilated bodies thrown in the ally. I've called the others so hurry up and get your butt down here. I'll send the directions to your phone. See you soon," Morgan said, hanging up.

"Five mutilated bodies did you have to be so gross?" Emily asked.

A few minutes later everyone was waiting in the dark when the curtain was pulled back by a puzzled looking Reid.

Morgan turned on the lights and everyone jumped out yelling surprise.

**End Flashback**

The picture had been taken by a waiter shortly after Reid had opened his presents. It was one of Gideon's favorite pictures it was not only one of the few pictures of the whole team. But what made this one really special was the fact the Hotch was smiling.

"I'm really going to miss you," Gideon said, finally giving into his emotions

**I hope I didn't upset anyone to badly. But please just stick with me and please don't forget to review. Until next time.**

**Mouse**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ch 5 **

**I hope you enjoy don't forget to review.**

Morgan pulled the car over to the side of the road so he could hold a hystically sobbing Garcia.

"Your place or mine?" Morgan asked after Garcia had calmed down.

"Gorgeous you have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words, and it breaks my heart to say this but I'm really not in the mood. But I will take a rain check," Penelope said, with a small smile.

"You got it beautiful," Derek said, giving her a kiss on the head.

"Where's everyone else? Garcia asked.

"I think everyone's over at JJ's," Morgan answered. "Do you want to go over there?"

"Sure why not," Garcia said.

**JJ's Apartment**

JJ was lying on the couch with her head in Reid's lap. Emily was sitting on the other side of Reid with her head on Reid's shoulder. Reid sat between the two women both terrified and intrigued. Reid had finally worked up the nerve to gently stroke JJ's hair when the doorbell rang.

Just my luck Reid thought as JJ go up to answer the door.

JJ looked through the peep hole before opening the door to let Penelope and Derek in.

"Hey guys what's up?" Derek asked.

"Not much," JJ said.

"Hey Morgan. Where's Gideon? " Reid asked, twisting his neck to look at Morgan and Garcia.

"Hey kid. Gideon had some business to take care of back at the office."

"Hey Morgarcia," Emily slurred, looking up and then she put her head back on Reid's shoulder.

"I hope you've hidden her car keys," Garcia, said.

"She's not going anywhere. So Morgan how'd it go with Hayley?" JJ asked.

"Not good," Morgan said, as JJ handed him a beer.

**The next morning**

The ringing phone woke Gideon up from an unease sleep. Moaning Gideon rolled over to look at the alarm clock 9:00 am he couldn't remember the last time he had slept that late.

"Hello," Gideon said, groggily, expecting it to be Reid or Morgan or some other member of the team.

"I'm sorry Jason did I wake you up?" Hayley asked. "Jack gets me up at five o'clock every morning so I forget this is still early to some people," Hayley said.

"No no it's fine. Are you and Jack ok?" Gideon asked, his voice full of concern.

"Jacks fine but I wanted to apologize for yesterday I feel terrible about the way I acted," Hayley said.

"There's no need to apologize," Gideon said.

"Yes there is I acted like a real bitch and I feel just awful about it. I know the agency want even let you work on this case emotional involvement and all that," Hayley said.

"Your not a bitch you were just acting like a grieving wife," Gideon said.

"That's still no excuse and please don't start trying to profile me. I can practically hear your brain kicking into profiling mode. I hated it when Aaron did that," Hayley said.

"Hayley."

"Yeah."

"Do you have someone there with you?" Gideon asked.

"Yeah thanks for calling them," Hayley said.

"Your welcome if there's any at all I can do just let me know. Don't be afraid to call any time day or night," Gideon said.

"Jason you were his best friend. You know that right?" Hayley asked, her voice starting to crack.

"I know and he was mine I don't think I ever told him that," Gideon said.

"He knew Jason. Jason can you give me Penelope and Derek's phone numbers so I can apologize to them and please don't tell me I don't have to because I do," Hayley said, cutting off any objections to the contrary.

"Okay but I doubt their home," Gideon said.

"Oh," Hayley said, amusement in her voice.

"I didn't mean that they were together some where I mean they probably are together,"

"Oh really," Hayley cut in sounding even more amused.

" What I'm trying to say is that I think everyone probably ended up crashing at JJ's apartment last night," Gideon said.

" Why didn't you?" Hayley asked.

"Why didn't I what?" Gideon asked.

"Why didn't you go over to JJ's with everybody else?" Hayley asked.

"I just needed to be by myself," Gideon answered.

"You know Aaron mentioned to me one time he thought Derek and Penelope might have a thing going," Hayley said.

"Hotch actually said he thought Morgan and Garcia "have a thing going," Gideon asked, amused.

"You know what I mean. So do they have a little romance going?" Hayley asked.

"Honestly I'm not sure I've never looked to hard. But as long as what ever they have doesn't interfere with their job performance it's none of my bussniess," Gideon said.

"That's exactly what Aaron said when I asked him. Oh God Gideon what I'm I going to do with out him?" Hayley asked.

" We'll all figure it out together," Gideon said.

"Jason do you think you can round up the team and bring them over here? Aarons mother Cindy would like to meet all of you," Hayley said.

"Hayley are you going to be okay with us coming over?" Gideon asked.

"I'll be fine and if I fall apart again just slap me. Besides Sean's here now and he's the one who reminded me last night of something very important that I had forgotten," Hayley said.

" What's that?" Gideon asked.

"That I'm not the only one who lost someone. Jack lost his daddy, Sean lost his brother, Cindy lost her son, and the team lost a leader and hopefully a friend," Hayley said, her voice shaking.

"We'll be over as soon as we can," Gideon said.

"Alright see you soon. Oh and Jason tell Penelope that Jack loves her presents," Hayley said.

"I will," Gideon said, hanging up the phone.

Gideon rolled out of the bed and headed for the shower.

Forty-five minutes later Gideon was showered ,shaved, and dressed. Before leaving Gideon stoped to eat a bowel of cereal and drink a cup of orange juice.

**JJ's apartment**

Sometime during the night Emily had shifted position and was lying curled up in a fetal position on the couch. JJ was asleep with her head in Reid's lap clutching his hand. Reid was asleep sitting up between the two women with his head leaning back against the couch and his mouth hanging open. A line of drool was running down his chin. Penelope was stretched out asleep on the love seat and Derek was asleep in the lounge chair when all of a sudden the room was flooded with light.

"Uhh," JJ moaned.

"What time is it?" Morgan asked.

"It's almost noon," Gideon said.

"Gideon how'd you get in here?" JJ asked.

"I used your spare key," Gideon said.

"I don't have a spare key," JJ said.

"Okay I picked the lock," Gideon said.

"What is that smell? It's making me sick," Emily said.

"It smells like sausage biscuits ," Garcia said.

"Someone should wake Reid up," Gideon said.

"I got it," JJ said, shaking Reid's shoulder

"Uhh," Reid said, sitting up and looking around.

"Reid," Morgan said, making wiping motions across his chin.

"Uh," Reid said, groggily.

"Wipe your chin Romeo," Emily said, looking at him through half lidded eyes.

Turning red Reid wiped his chin.

"Alright everyone up get some food in you stomachs then go home and wash up. Hayley wants us all over at her house Hotch's mom wants to meet us," Gideon said.

"Why does she want to yell at us too?" Garcia asked.

"That's not fair," Gideon said.

"I know I'm sorry. But it made me feel better," Garcia said.

"Garcia, Hayley wanted me to tell you and Morgan she was sorry about the way she acted yesterday, and that Jack loved his presents," Gideon said.

"My head is pounding," Reid said, holding his head.

"Come on I have some aspirin in the cabinet," JJ said, to Reid.

Everyone but Emily got up and shuffled to the counter where Gideon had sat biscuits and coffee.

"Come on Prentiss," Gideon said.

"If I eat I'm going to throw up," Emily said.

"Honestly I'm surprised you didn't die of alcohol poisoning," Morgan said, before taking a small bite of biscuit.

"I didn't get that drunk," Emily said, from the couch.

"Sunshine someone could get drunk just smelling your breath," Garcia said.

Gideon picked up a biscuit and walked over to the couch.

"You really need to try to eat something," Gideon said, holding out the biscuit.

"No thank you I just want to sleep," Emily said, turning over.

"And brush your teeth," Gideon said, under his breath.

After thirty minutes of picking at their biscuits and drinking coffee everyone was ready to leave.

"Lets meet at the store on the corner of Hotch's street so we can all go together and don't all come in and six different times," Gideon said.

"I'm going to be late I've got something very important I've got to do first," Emily said.

"Can't it wait?" Gideon asked.

"No," Emily answered.

"Do what you have to do," Gideon said.

"I will trust me," Emily said, determination in her voice.

**So there you have it. Please don't forget to review. Until next time.**

**Mouse**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ch.6**

**This is a really long chapter. If you wondering who the woman is at the beginning of the story is she is the woman who wanted Emily to help her get Hotch fired and the end of this season. Please don't forget to review.**

After leaving JJ's apartment Emily didn't go straight home. She headed to the FBI headquarters at Quantico.

"You can't go in there!," the secretary, screamed as Emily pushed pasted her.

"It's alright Mrs. Kelly," Erin Strauss said, from behind her desk. "The next time you come busting into my office you'll face disciplinary actions. Now what can I do for you?" Erin asked.

"Tell me you had nothing to do with it," Emily said, somewhere between fear and anger.

"Are you accusing me of ordering the murder of a federal agent? Because if you are your career is over and I know how hard you worked to get here," Erin said.

"No I don't think you had Hotch murdered. It's just that he had a wife a little boy and his wife was pregnant again she never got the chance to tell him," Emily finished, her head threatening to explode from the hang over.

"I'll do you a favor this time and write this little out burst off to stress and to much alcohol. Don't ever come busting into my office again or I promise you you'll have more trouble than you can handle. Now go home brush your teeth take a shower and enjoy the mandatory two weeks off," Erin said.

Feeling even worse than she did before going to see Erin. I guess I should go home and get ready to go over to Hotch's house Emily thought gloomily.

**Hotch's House**

By two o'clock that afternoon the rest of the BAU team were pulling up in front of Hotch's house. Sean Hotchner who was sitting on the front steps of the house stood up to greet them.

"Derek it's good to see you again," Sean said, as Derek got out of the car.

"It's good to see you too Sean, I'm just sorry it has to be under these circumstances," Derek said, walking up to shake Seans hand.

"How's Hayley?" Gideon asked, after shaking Seans hand.

"She's sleeping. When Jack went down I insisted that she lay down to," Sean said.

"We can come back later," Gideon said.

"No Hayley insisted that I wake her up when you got here. Besides it's been two hours Jack should be waking up anytime now," Sean said. "Come on in," Sean said, opening the door.

Hayley was stretched out on the couch still asleep. Sean called her several times and when she didn't respond he gently touched her shoulder.

"Aaron stop I'm tired," Hayley mumbled, still asleep.

Sean looked at the BAU team. "Hayley Hayley wake up," Sean said, gently shaking her.

"Aaron come here and snuggle," Hayley said, grabbing Sean hand pulling on it.

"Hayley it's Jason it's time to wake up now," Gideon said.

Hayley opened her eyes and looked at the BAU team and then at Sean who's hand she was still holding. She quickly let go of Sean's hand and her face turned red.

"Oh Sean I'm so sorry," Hayley said.

"Don't worry about it," Sean said.

"I was having the best dream about Aaron," Hayley said.

Just then Cindy Hotchner came down stairs carrying Jack. "Look who just came it my room to wake me up," Cindy said.

"Derhic," Jack said, squirming in his grandmothers arms.

Jacks grandmother put him down and he went running over to Derek.

"Where daddy?" Jack asked, holding his in a childish questioning manner.

"Hey little man," Derek said, picking Jack up.

"Jaason," Jack squealed, when he spotted Jason. Jack held out his arms to Jason who took him from Derek. "Where daddy?" Jack asked, Gideon.

"Jack you need to give Penelope a big hug. She's the one who gave you the chair and toy horse," Hayley said.

"Who Nelapee?" Jack asked.

"She's right there," Hayley said, pointing to Penelope.

Jack held out his arms to Penelope and when she took him he wrapped his arms around her neck and laid his head on her shoulder.

"Oh," Penelope said.

"Tank uoo," Jack said, leaning in and giving Garcia a kiss on the cheek.

"Aww," Garcia said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"He's so sweet he reminds me so much of Aaron when he was that age," Cindy said. "He was such a sweet boy so gentle and loving always smiling always trying to make other people smile. I can tell by the looks on your faces that is not the Aaron you knew. He change after his father died he felt that he had to be the man of the house he took on the wait of the world on his shoulders. But when he was Jack's age he was my little snuggle bug he let me hold him in my lap until he was to big. Sean do you remember Aaron when he was like that?" Cindy asked.

"Yeah mom I remember," Sean said.

"I'm sorry I've been rude I haven't introduced myself. I'm Cindy Hotchner Aaron's mother," Cindy said, turning to Gideon who was standing closest to her.

"I'm Jason Gideon it's nice to meet you I'm just sorry it has to be under these circumstances," Gideon said.

"Aaron didn't talk much about his job but he always spoke very fondly of you Mr. Gideon," Cindy said.

"Aaron was a good friend and he'll be sorely missed," Gideon said.

The rest of the BAU introduced themselves to Cindy.

"Why don't we sit down,"Cindy said,after the introductions.

"I'll go get some more chairs," Sean said.

"Where's um I can't remember her name," Hayley said.

"Emily had some personal business to take care of she should be here soon," Gideon said.

Jack who had gotten down out of Penelope's arms came running back into the room with the stuffed horse Penelope gave him the day before in-between his legs.

"Yee haw," Jack said, riding the toy horse around the room, much to everyone's amusement.

"Ride'em cowboy," Derek said, as Jack rode the horse around the room again.

Just then the door bell rang.

"Daddy!" Jack yelled, heading for the door.

Hayley sighed as she got up to go to the door.

"It's probably my sister she's driving in from out of state today," Hayley said, as she opened the door.

"Elle," Hayley said, surprised.

"Hi," Elle said, smiling weakly. "I just felt like I should at least come by to pay my respects in person."

"Of course come in," Hayley said, moving out of the way so Elle could come in.

JJ and Penelope where standing behind Hayley waiting to hug Elle.

"Hi guys," Elle said, to Reid, Morgan, and Gideon who where still sitting on the couch.

"I know your probably still made at me and you have every right to be but I just couldn't not say goodbye," Elle said.

"You left without saying goodbye," Reid said.

"I thought it would be easier on everyone that way," Elle said.

"You were wrong," Morgan said.

"I know that now," Elle said.

"Hind sight is twenty-twenty," Gideon said.

"Yeah it is. So do you guys think you can forgive me?"

"To err is human to forgive divine," Gideon said, standing up and hugging Elle.

"Lay some loving on me girl," Derek said.

"Reid?" Elle asked.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you," Reid said.

"Reid no one could help me but me," Elle said. "Please," Elle said, holding out her arms.

Reid stood up and hugged Elle tightly.

Just then Jack came running back into the room with a piece of paper in his hand.

"I make picture," Jack said, holding out the paper to Hayley.

"This is beautiful Jacky I'll put it on the fridge," Hayley said,

"Let me see," Cindy said.

Hayley toward the picture around so everyone could see the colorful scribbles on the paper.

"Not you daddy," Jack said, jerking the picture from Hayley.

"Jack come here and see uncle Sean for a minute."

Jack ran across the room to the chair where Sean was sitting ,and turned around so Sean could pick him up.

"Jacky do you remember where mommy told you daddy is?" Sean asked.

"Where daddy?" Jack asked.

"Daddy's in heaven now," Sean asked.

"Where tat?" Jack asked. "I get map," Jack said, trying to get off Sean's lap.

"Map?" Sean asked.

" I 'd always show him what state Aaron was in on the map" Hayley said, her voice breaking.

"Oh okay buddy where daddy is now isn't on your map," Sean said.

"Not on map?" Jack asked, confused. "Where daddy?" Jack asked, again.

"Daddy's in heaven that's up in the sky," Sean said.

"Daddy in pain?" Jack asked.

"No buddy he's not in pain," Sean said.

"Sean he asked if his daddy was in a plane," Hayley explained.

"Daddy not in pain daddy not hurt," Jack said, shaking his head.

"That's right buddy your daddy's not in pain or hurt," Sean said, a tear slipping down his cheek.

"No be sad uncow Sean daddy not have booboo," Jack said, wiping at Seans tears, and then wrapping his arms around Sean's neck. "No cry no be sad it okay uncow Sean."

"Jack go find all of your choo-choo trains so everyone can see how cool they are," Hayley said, barely containing her own tears.

"Okay," Jack said, jumping off of Sean's lap, and running from the room.

After Jack was out of the room Hayley put her face in her hands and started to cry. Derek held Hayley as she cried.

JJ cuddled up against Reid as tears streamed down her face and Reid awkwardly wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Everyone regained their compose just in time for Jack to come running in the room with a handful of trains, he dumped those in the middle of the floor and ran back out of the room.

"Oh boy you get to see the train collection try not to get to excited," Hayley said, bending over and picking up one of the toys.

Jack came running back in the room with another handful of trains just as the door bell rang.

"Daddy!" Jack shrieked, running for the door.

"I'll get it," Morgan said, standing up.

"It's Emily," Morgan said, looking through the peep hole.

"I was beginning to think you'd gotten lost," Morgan said, when he opened the door.

"No sorry I'm late what I had to do just took longer than I thought it would," Emily said.

"Play with me," Jack said, grabbing Morgan by the hand.

"What'cha wanna play," Derek asked, letting Jack pull him along.

"Trains," Jack answered, looking at Derek like he was dense.

"Silly question," Derek said.

"Don't you just love that look doesn't it make you feel like the smartest person on earth?" Hayley asked, sarcastically.

"Oh yeah," Derek answered.

"Here you can have my seat," Sean said, to Emily.

"Thank you," Emily said, sitting down, and offering him a small smile.

After getting Derek where he wanted him to sit and giving him the trains him wanted to have Jack looked up at Hayley.

"I wanna watch me and daddys bath," Jack said.

Everyone in the room looked to Hayley for an explanation.

"It's a home video I made of Aaron giving Jack a bath when Jack was about eighteen months old. It's one of Jack's favorites it's the only way I can get Jack to go to sleep when Aaron's away," Hayley said.

"Peese mommy peese,"Jack begged.

"I wanna see me and daddys' bath. Peeese."

"Oh baby I don't think so not right now," Hayley said.

"Peeese peeeese,"Jack begged, his bottom starting to poke out.

"Alright baby," Hayley said, getting up to put the video in the vcr.

**The Video**

The video started with Aaron and Jack sitting in a bathtub full of bubbles. Aaron's hair was sticking straight up with bubbles in it.

"Look at daddy Squirt he likes washing his hair," Aaron said, to Jack.

Jack turned around looking at Aaron and giggled with glee.

Jack scooped up a handful of bubbles and reached for Aarons head. Aaron bent down so Jack could put more bubbles in his hair.

"Squirts turn," Aaron said, putting bubbles in Jacks hair.

Jack immediately began to whine.

"No no don't do that. Look we're going to make Squirts hair look like daddys okay, and then we'll look in the mirror to see how silly we look," Aaron said.

Aaron took two handfuls of bubbles and put them in Jacks hair, and then spiked up Jacks hair.

"Now do you want to look in the mirror and see how silly we look?" Aaron asked.

Smiling Jack nodded his head yes Aaron stood up and then scooped up the soapy little boy .

"Hayley," Aaron said, noticing the camera for the first time.

"Oh come on this is so cute look at my two men. There both being so brave and washing their hair,"

Hayley said.

"I got him this far without a tantrum," Aaron said.

"Yeah but now comes the fun part you have to rinse the soap out of his hair," Hayley said, amusement in her voice.

Jack was happily playing with the soap bubbles in his and his daddys hair.

"Alright Squirt lets show mommy how this is done," Aaron said, looking straight at the camera.

"Please do," Hayley said.

Aaron sat down with Jack and began to gently splash him with a cup that was sitting on the edge of the tube.

"Your turn splash daddy," Aaron said, handing Jack the cup.

Jack took the cup and began splashing Aaron with water. Jack splashed Aaron a few times before he took the cup back.

"Watch daddy," Aaron said, as he filled the cup with water and poured it over his head.

Jack laughed and clapped his hands.

"Do you want to pour water of daddys head?" Aaron asked, handing Jack the cup.

Jack took the cup and laughing dumped it over Aaron's head.

"Good boy see daddys not crying," Aaron said.

Aaron turned on the faucet adjusted the water and filled the cup slowly Aaron poured the water over Jacks head. Jack whimpered but never started to cry as Aaron rinsed his hair.

"Oh ok Squirt now the fun part you get to pour the water over daddy's head," Aaron said, handing Jack the cup.

After they were both rinsed Hayley handed Aaron a towel to wrap around his waist and one to wrap Jack in.

"Well?" Aaron said, looking smugly at the camera.

"Okay I bow to the master," Hayley said, and the camera angle went to the floor.

**End Video**

"I can't watch any more," Cindy said, in tears.

Hayley stood up and turned the video off. Looking around the room Hayley saw that almost everyone had silent tears running down their cheeks.

"I'm going outside to get some air," Reid said, his voice shaking.

**Extremely long chapter but what can I say my muse was in over drive. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review and let me know.**

'


	7. Chapter 7

**Ch. **7

JJ spent the night curled up next to Reid on her couch. She was thankful Reid wasn't the kind of guy to take advantage of her vulnerability. Neither one of them had slept much the night before. JJ honestly didn't know how she had any tears left she had cried so much the past three days. She wished Reid would trust her enough to share his grief with her. JJ knew it wasn't healthy for Reid to keep his emotions bottled up. With everything he'd been through this year she was afraid for him. She'd heard him a few times moaning and whining in his sleep. She'd feel his body tense as he fought whatever demons haunted his dreams. JJ took the opportunity to smooth back his hair or talk soothingly in his ear. She knew he'd never allow her to comfort him while he was awake so she had to do it while he slept. JJ needed to stretch badly but she knew if she moved he would wake up instantly. She could tell he was sleeping by the steady rise and fall of his chest under her head. JJ looked at the clock eight am she'd let him sleep another hour. Then they'd better start getting ready.

**Garcias apartment**

Garcia woke up with something tickling her nose. Penelope opened her eyes to see Derek's socked foot in her face. The last thing she remembered she and Derek were laying on her couch talking.

"Eww your feet stink, Penelope said, pushing Derek's feet off the couch.

"Uhn," Derek moaned, as his feet feel off the couch.

"Good morning Sunshine," Derek said. "Did I dream it or did you just push my feet off the couch?"

"You know I love you handsome but your feet really stink," Penelope said, smiling.

" How are you doing ?" Derek asked.

"No I think the question is how are you doing?" Penelope asked, rubbing Derek's leg with her foot.

"I'm dealing," Derek said.

"Yeah but," Penelope started, but Derek cut her off.

"No buts Sweetness you deal with things your way and I'll deal with them my way," Derek said.

**Emilys apartment**

Emily woke up with a splitting headache for the third day in a row. There must have been a half a dozen empty beer bottles lying around Emily's couch. I've got to stop this is becoming to much like a habit Emily thought. It was taking more and more to make her forget the guilt. How could she ever think of betraying Hotch he had always given her the benefit of the doubt. She hated Strauss for making her spy on Hotch. She knew that if she told the others what she'd been doing that they would never forgive her, and her career in the BAU would over hell her career in the bureau would be over.

**The Hotchner house**

Gideon woke with a stared when something jumped on his stomach and started bouncing up and down.

"Wake up It morning wise and shine," Jack said, bouncing up and down on Jason's stomach.

"Sorry about that he got away from me," Hayley said, shaking her head.

"No problem," Jason said.

"Rae get to come over and pay today ," Jack said, grabbing Jason's face to make sure he was paying attention. "

"Rae's Jacks' sitter her real names Rachel. Rae's just what Jack's always called her. She's going to stay with Jack and his cousins during the funeral," Hayley said, in answer to Jason's quizzical look.

"Mommy I want fruity loops," Jack said.

" Rachel will love you having sugary cereal for breakfast," Hayley said.

"Please fruity loops Mommy," Jack begged.

"Oh well at least it want be me who has to put up with you being on a sugar high," Hayley said.

"Come on baby," Hayley said, starting for the kitchen.

"Come on," Jack said, pulling on Jason's hand.

"I'm coming buddy," Jason said, as Jack slid down off Jason's stomach and ran for the kitchen.

Hayley had called Jason last night and asked him to come over and spend the night on the couch she wanted him to ride in the limo with the family. Jason had tried to convince her it wasn't necessary that it might give people the wrong idea. Hayley's' answer to that had been the hell with other people and what they thought. All that was important was that Jason was family and she wanted him there. Jason still felt uncomfortable but he had come like she had asked.

**JJ's apartment**

Reid was fiddling with his tie and looking at his reflection in the blank TV screen, when JJ came up behind him.

"Turn around," JJ ordered.

She reached up and straightened his tie and put down the collar on his shirt, then she patted him on both shoulders.

"You look very handsome," JJ said.

JJ was in a black v-neck dress that came to the top of her knees. Her long blond hair hung loose around her face.

"You look you look," Reid sputtered.

"Thanks," JJ said, with a small smile. "We should go," JJ said, taking Reid's hand.

JJ smiled as she heard Reid swallow loudly.

**Garcia's apartment**

Penelope had on a black dress with a sliver sequined belt and rainbow earrings. Penelope was brushing her hair looking in the hallway mirror when Derek came out of her bedroom.

"You ready to go beautiful, " Derek asked.

Derek was wearing a black suit, with a navy blue tie and a white shirt.

"Nope. How about you?" Penelope asked.

"Me either," Derek said, taking Penelope by the arm, and leading her by out the door.

**Emily apartment**

Emily was dressed in a knee lengh black dress. Emily took one more drink of beer before putting

**The Hotchner house**

Jason was dressed in a brown suit and standing in Hotch's living room looking out the window waiting on the limo to pull up when Jack came into the living room.

"Jason," Jack called, climbing on the couch, and then standing up on the arm next to Jason.

"Be careful," Jason said, holding Jack's shoulders.

"Jason," Jack said, again.

"What's up buddy?" Jason asked.

"Are you going to get my daddy?" Jack asked.

"Jack Rae's outside in the backyard and she wants you to come play with her," Hayley said, standing in the kitchen doorway.

Jack jumped off the arm of the couch and went running to the kitchen.

"Thanks," Jason said.

"No problem I did want Jack to see us leave any way," Hayley said, walking across the room.

**Okay do you guys want me to do a funeral scene? I will if that's what most people want if not I'm just going to skip ahead a few days. Just let me know. Thanks**

**Mouse**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ch. 8 **

**This is something I just felt I had to write. It's not exactly a funeral scene it's the thoughts of the other characters while at Hotch's funeral. It's still very sad and you might want to have a tissue close by.**

The sun was shining the birds were chirping and the sky was a brilliant shade of blue. But Hayley Hotchner didn't see the sun shining or hear the birds chirping she couldn't even hear the words of the minister. All she could do was stare at the coffin they would soon be lowering in to the ground. The love of her life was in that coffin and so was the biggest part of her heart. Hayley desperately wanted to crawl into the coffin and let them bury her with Aaron. But she knew she couldn't do that no matter how much she might want to. Jack needed her and so did this new baby they had already lost one parent she wasn't about to make them orphans.

Jason couldn't stop the tears he wasn't sure that he wanted to. Hotch was the best friend Jason had had in a long time and now he was gone. Life was a precious and fragile thing and death wasn't picky about who it took. Or the mess it left behind Jason thought as he held Hayley a little bit tighter and thought about little Jack and the baby growing in Hayley's womb.

Morgan his eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses could feel the hot tears sliding down his cheeks. He had tried to keep them wiped off when they had first started but now they were coming to fast. He had denied them for to long. Right now he didn't care who saw him his friend was gone and he couldn't hide the pain any more. Derek looked to the right when he felt an arm slip around his waist. Penelope smiled at him through her tears and then laid her head on his shoulder.

Penelope laid her head against Derek's shoulder the tears rolling freely down her cheeks. Sure Hotch had been a stick in the mud but he would fight tooth and nail for the victim and for his team. Hotch was a good man and she was going to miss him.

Spencer couldn't believe he of all people had a beautiful woman crying on both of his shoulders. JJ had her head lying against his right shoulder and was almost painfully clutching his hand. Emily's head was lying against his left. Reid wasn't sure how much longer he could keep the tears in his throat was aching painful and it was getting hard to breathe.

JJ clung Spencer's hand as the tears flowed down her face. Hotch had been a real hard ass but he had been the first boss she'd ever had that ask her opinion about a cases and actually listened to what she had to say. She knew in her heart Hotch only acted hard he had to or the job would have eaten him alive.

This was all her fault that's the only thought that ran through Emily's head as she listened to the preacher. She knew she was making Reid uncomfortable and probably making JJ a little jealous but she couldn't hold her head up she was glad Reid was there to rest her head on. She hadn't been with the team for a year yet she knew the rest of the team was probably wondering why she was taking Hotch's death so hard. Thank God they didn't know the truth.

Elle stood in the back away from the rest of the mourners. She had know it would be hard to come back but she never would have been able to live with herself if she didn't come back to say good bye. It would be like pouring salt in an open wound to have to leave again but looking around she knew that her friends would be ok their lives had moved on.

**Thanks for reading I hope you didn't have to use to many tissues. Don't forget to review. Please read the next chapter it's the last one and there's a big surprise.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ch 9 **

**Hold on tight you've made it to the finale chapter. I know it's been an emotional roller coaster and I have to warn you there's a big surprise at the end. So buckle your seatbelts and keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times. But most of all enjoy.**

**One week after the funeral**

It was the teams first day back since Hotch's death. Hayley still had not come to clean out Hotch's office and the new agent was coming today Gideon thought. Jason looked around at his team he knew that certain members of the team had been spending a lot of time together helping one another through the grief among other things he was sure. Emily was the one Jason was worried about her eyes were blood shot and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. Jason's thoughts were interrupted when something hit his leg. Jason looked down to see Jack smiling up at him.

"Hi Jason," Jack said, looking up with big eyes.

"Hey buddy," Jason said, smiling down at Jack.

"We come to cean up daddys office," Jack said.

Jack ran off to see the others has Hayley came walking over to Jason.

"Hi," Hayley said, smiling weakly.

"Hi How's it going?" Jason asked.

"I have good days and bad days. Some nights I roll over and when he's not there I forget and think he's just gone on another case, and then I remember," Hayley answered.

"Just hang in there we're all here if you need us," Jason said.

"I know thank you. Would you mind helping me clean out Aaron's office? I know there isn't much to pack but it would mean a lot if you'd come with me to his office," Hayley said.

" Of course. Morgan why don't you take Jack to see Garcia," Gideon suggested.

"Yaaa Nellapee," Jack said, clapping his hands. "Bye of you mommy," Jack said, waving.

"Bye baby I love you too," Hayley said, smiling.

"Bye of you Jason," Jack called, as Morgan carried him out of the room.

"I love you too buddy," Gideon said, quietly.

"I should have left him with a sitter but I hate to let him out of my sight. I'm afraid of loosing him too," Hayley said.

"Do you have boxes? Or do we need to go to housekeeping and get some?" Gideon said, changing the subject.

"I have some boxes in the car," Hayley answered. "Walk with me?"

After Hayley and Jason got the boxes from Hayley's car they went up stairs to Hotch's office.

It only took about thirty minutes to pack up all of Hotch's personal belongings. After the packing was finished Hayley sat down in Hotch's chair and took deep breaths breathing in his scent. Then she ran her fingers over some papers with his hand writing on it that was sitting on his desk. Finally Hayley looked at Jason.

"I guess I should get going," Hayley said.

"Take your time," Jason said.

"Is the new agent coming in today?" Hayley asked.

"Yeah," Jason answered.

"I should go I don't want to be here when they arrive," Hayley said.

"Alright I understand. Lets go get Jack I'm sure he's in Garica's office, and then Morgan and I will carry the boxes to your car," Jason said.

"Thank you," Hayley said.

**Garcia's Office**

When Hayley and Jason got to Garcia's office the found Jack entertaining everyone. Jack had Garcia's bunny pen and Morgan had a duck pen and they were pretending to fight.

"Hi mommy Jason," Jack said, looking up. "You cean up daddy's office?"

"Yeah baby we did. Now let's go home and clean up your room and the rest of the house," Hayley said.

"No ice ceem," Jack said.

"Oh that's right I did promise you ice cream," Hayley said, smiling.

"Mommy," Jack called.

"What baby?"

"Daddy not in heaven anymore," Jack said.

"Yeah baby daddy's still in heaven," Hayley answered.

"Nu uh," Jack said, shaking his head.

"Then where is he buddy?" Derek asked.

"Over there," Jack said, pointing. "Hi daddy," Jack said, waving.

"Jack you can see me?" Hotch asked.

"Silly daddy," Jack said.

"Jack stop it daddy is not here," Hayley said.

"Hayley baby I'm right here. Why can't you see me?" Hotch asked, waving his hands in Hayley's face.

"Daddys silly," Jack said, smiling looking straight at Hotch.

"Why is he doing this?" Hayley asked, panic in her voice.

"This is just Jack's way of dealing with the loosing his daddy," Jason said.

"Gideon I'm right here. Morgan, Reid, JJ, Prentiss, Garcia," Hotch said.

"_Aaron," Hayley said._

"Thank God you can see me," Hotch said. But looking at Hayley he realized she couldn't have seen him see was knelt down talking to Jack.

"I'm going crazy," Hotch said, out loud.

"_Aaron open your eyes. Please baby look at me."_

"Hayley," Aaron screamed, as everything went black.

Aaron felt himself falling through the darkness. Suddenly Aaron felt something soft under his body and a cool hand on his forehead.

"Aaron open your eyes come on baby you can do it."

"Hayley?" Was that his voice Aaron thought it was a dry croak barely above a whisper.

"I'm right here baby. Please open your eyes and look at me," Hayley said.

His eyelids most have weighed a thousand pounds Aaron thought as he struggled to open them.

"Come on Hotch I can see your lids fluttering you can do it. Open your big brown eyes and look at your beautiful wife," Gideon said.

Aaron finale managed to open his eyes only to be blinded by bright light causing him to moan.

"Jason cut off the light. I'm sorry baby try again," Hayley coaxed.

Aaron opened his eyes again and saw a teary eyed Hayley looking down at him.

"Do you know who you are?" Gideon asked.

"Aaron Hotchner."

"Do you know who I am?"

"Jason Gideon"

"Do you know this beautiful lady is?"

Aaron looked at Hayley and smiled weakly.

"Mrs. Hayley Hotchner"

"It's good to have you back," Gideon said.

"It's good to be back. Now what the hell happened?" Hotch asked.

"You were shot. You've been unconscious for the past week. You had us scared to death," Hayley said.

"I'm sorry," Hotch said, he could feel his eyelids getting heavy.

"I'm going to get the doctor. Hayley try to keep him awake while I'm gone," Gideon said, as he left the room.

**You didn't really think I was going to kill him off did you? Hotch is my favorite character. But I had you going didn't I? Can anyone say sequel? Let me know what you think. Even though I'll probably do one anyways since it's already writing it's self in my head. I'd love to hear your thoughts comments or concerns. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and review. **

**Mouse**

"


End file.
